Daddy Ralph

DADDY RALPH
1913 – 1990

My first encounter with Daddy Ralph took place in 1959 when Jerry and I were dating. We were two, very nervous, 17 year olds when Jerry took me home to meet his parents. He didn’t tell mewhat his dad had planned, he knew I’d never go if he did, and Jerry was hoping that Dad was bluffing. No such luck. After the introduction and a very warm welcome, Mom gave us some lemonade and we sat in the living room getting to know each other. Dad came over to my chair after a few minutes and ask me to stand up. He said, “I’ve got to check you out to see if you’ll do for my son.” I looked at Jerry and his eyes were as big as saucers, he didn’t help me at all. I didn’t know what to else to do, so I stood up. Daddy Ralph took my hand, examined it on both sides, felt my arm at the wrist, elbow and upper arm, then without cracking a smile said to Jerry, “Pretty good bones, a little on the skinny side but that’s good, it won’t take much money to feed her.” When he asked me to open my mouth next, I think it literally fell open. After what seemed to be an eternity of Dad looking at my teeth, he turned to Jerry and with the biggest smile he said, “You better grab this girl, she doesn’t have a filling in her head.”

That was the beginning of a very special relationship between us.

When my own daddy died, Daddy Ralph came to me and said, “Jerri I know I can never take your father’s place, but when ever you would have ask him to do something for you, please ask me.” I certainly did many times and he never refused me.

When we were remodeling our house Dad was doing the finishing work on our kitchen when he cut his finger at work very badly and was unable to finish. He taught me the proper way to hold a hammer, how to sink a nail and how to miter a corner. With his guidance and patience I completed the kitchen. We worked very well together. I borrowed his tools and his knowledge many, many times after that.

I learned so very much from Daddy Ralph, both by the skills he taught me and the way he lived his life. Patience was certainly his virtue. He never got in a hurry, in fact you might even say he was down right slow, which used to drive Mom and Jerry nuts. However, whatever he was working on, be it remodeling the house, constructing a lattice fence from scratch, fixing the car or crafting a scale model of the beloved cabin, complete with a rock fireplace, that he built in the 1940s near Clear Creek, California. Each was to perfection, a true work of art when completed. He believed anything worth doing was worth doing well.

Another example of Daddy Ralph’s splendid sense of humor took place while he was remodeling their kitchen on Divver Street. Daddy was installing a turn table in the tiny corner cabinet next to the sink. Mom was out and Daddy crawled inside the cabinet to do whatever it was that needed to be done. For the life of me, I still don’t see how he got his long legs inside. When Mom came home I can just imagine the smile on his face as he quietly closed the cabinet door. He softly called out to her, she looked and looked and looked but couldn’t find him anywhere, she was sure he was stuck under the house. He didn’t mean to scare her as badly as he did, but he sure got a kick out of it.

Daddy Ralph’s sense of humor continued until the end, as did his teaching. He made a joke on the telephone just two days before he died. That was the last time Jerry and I talked with him. The final thing that he taught us was how to die. He NEVER gave up, he continued to plan for the future. As difficult as that last year of his life was, he NEVER complained or pain or even acknowledged his illness. Many who came to visit asked if he was aware of the severity of his illness. YES he was, he definitely was, this was his way of dealing with death as he had dealt with life, NEVER swelling on the negative.

We are all so very blessed to have been a part of Daddy Ralph’s life and his death. I know we will all continue to learn and be guided by him as I have continued to learn and be guided by my own father since his death almost twenty years ago. Their bodies are gone from us but they will be with us always.

If you can hear me Daddy and Daddy Ralph, I Love You.


For Daddy Ralph Sharpe’s Memorial Service, April 5, 1990

by his Daughter-in-law. – Jerri Akins